Gail Simone Approved.

Merlin: The Wicked Day
Oh, it's wicked, all right.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 2
Arthur sacrifices himself for Camelot... almost.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 1
Morgana unleashes a ghost army on Camelot.

Merlin Times: Coming to a Strip Mall Near You

I will be the first to admit that Laura and I talk about Merlin way too much. I don't even know how we keep finding new things to discuss. Although, to be fair, we somehow kept ourselves discussing Smallville for far longer than we should have. Since Merlin is supposedly based on the idea of Smallville (and it happens to be better than Smallville,) I guess it shouldn't be a surprise at all that we spend our free time planning ways to expand our love for Merlin and pizza to include the whole world.


Laura: I am totally for Merlin times theme restaurant. They have a theme park attraction type thing in England. Or maybe Wales.

Brenda: They do have a festival in Wales.

Laura: They added a dragon to Warwick Castle and were like "LOOK! We have sold out to a popular TV show to gain your tourist dollars!" Basically, I'm saying I want to go.

Brenda: My mom really liked when I made her go to Medieval Times because cute guys dressed as Knights hold doors for you and call you "M'lady." I would be such a wenchy whorebag if I lived in Merlin times.

Laura: Well, yeah, and in Merlin times the dudes were super hot and clean, which is nothing like actual times that Merlin would take place in.

Brenda: But Merlin Times the theme restaurant could be like anything. THERE ARE NO RULES. We serve pizza because they may have! You just don't know!

Laura: Sure. Though, based on the TV show, everyone eats chicken constantly.

Brenda: It combines Medieval Times and Harry Potter, basically. Everyone gets a wand and a sword and a taco.

Laura: Everything has to be really shiny. That's my favorite thing about Excalibur. Everything looks like it was washed with Cascade.

Brenda: We can have an anamatronic Julie Andrews singing Lusty Month of May for no reason.

Laura: And the actual Sam Neill, also for no reason.

Brenda: Maybe the only game at Merlin Times is a dart game where you throw darts at Lancelot. You don't get tickets or prizes, just satisfaction.

Laura: Best game ever! Though people don't always get why I hate all Lancelots ever (except for Goulet).

Brenda: Can we have Will Ferrell dressed as Robert Goulet dressed as Lancelot at our grand opening?

Laura: No, because I really like Robert Goulet. Those impersonations were mean. Poor Goulet. He's dead. Show some respect.

Brenda: I am! For instance, this is the second Goulet conversation I've had today.

We decided that while Merlin Times Pizzeria would be cost-effective and fun, no one wants to deal with cleaning out the ball pit.

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Comments (1)


Hahaha - wenchy whorebag. I would eat here every day.