This entry has zero informational content and, if you're a hetero male, might alienate you a little bit.
Too bad. When we were discussing what our 500th entry should be, first it was pointed out by Laura that we should call attention to being a website for over 4 years and only just now getting to 500 entries. Well done, us! We are awesome at procrastinating.
Second of all, we decided it should be awesome. And there is really nothing more awesome to us than cake, and also attractive men.
That's what you get here.
When pitching this idea, I described it thusly: "We get to pick our cake and our waiter. Let's call it Lunching with Geektress. A Cake Lunch.
...Cake Lunch is the greatest thing I ever invented just now."
"Hello, Laura. Happy 500th post. Sometimes when I'm working out in a thong, I like to also make layer cake. I heard you liked chocolate, so I put chocolate in the chocolate and also on the chocolate cake and covered it with chocolate bon bons. Also, I brought a disproportionately large slice of cheesecake."
Laura: My cake preferences are boring. I like chocolate with more chocolate. I might be OK with some strawberries in there, but mostly I just want chocolate. Cheesecake (NY style) is probably my favorite thing ever though, but it has to be good. Junior's cheesecake is what I imagine angels eat all the time, because they're dead and don't have to worry about getting fat.
Brenda: Look, it's our time to do whatever we want and if you want both double chocolate cake and a slice of cheesecake, you can have both. Fassbender has two hands. Maybe a third, I dunno if I want to get us banned on every work computer ever though.
"Hello, Rania. Congratulations, here is a large slice of chocolate cake that I stole from Michael Fassbender. Enjoy it while I read to you some of my poetry."
Rania was very enthusiastic about dudes and also cake, but failed to mention which dude she specifically would like serving her cake today. She mostly just agreed with our choices. So, since I know she likes Mads Mikkelsen, I instead posted a photo of Viggo Mortensen, because he's, like... better.
Speaking of Nordic men:
"I figured everyone would be taking their shirts off so I went with a suit. Now I see everyone's in a suit. I have no idea what to do at this point. Anyway, Happy 500th post, Francene. I got you a cupcake. It's pink. But it's still metal."
Francene: A Skarsgard cake would taste like lingonberries and avant garde cinema. Any cake he touched would taste like that, he couldnt help it.
"That guy in the tux had a cupcake so I was like 'Shit! I better get Carey a cupcake!' and I got this one because it's totally oversized. Heh. Can I have some later? Like, after we make out? I'm here to make out, right?"
Carey: I enjoy white or yellow cake with strawberry frosting. I kind of want to make it right now. But instead, I'm dipping parts of a bagel into a jar of Nutella and getting it all over my shirt. I like shirtless John Barrowman, but he's so adamantly gay that I almost feel guilty for wanting his babies.
Francene: It is okay to want Barrowman babies, he is gorgeous no matter what.
(P.S., next time we're in Chicago for C2E2, we might have to try one of those strawberry frosting cupcakes from Crepes A Latte Cafe.)
Laura: Shirtless dudes AND cake!
Brenda: I believe this is called teamwork and it is awesome.
"Uhhhh... hey. I already had a cupcake sitting here.... Uh. So, uhh... I know it's almost Christmas, and.... uh... you like the uh... like, peppermint? Stuff? So, uhm, I uh, I got you a big cake? It's uhm, it's peppermint? Uhhhhh... also, it has has like.... ...... .....ice cream. I know you like ice cream. I think. Once you might have uhm, have said uhm, that you like ice cream cake? So I got like, both? It's both. Oh man, maybe, you said you liked vanilla cake. Anyway, happy birthday or whatever. Uhmm.... Hello? Dang. Forgot to dial the phone first."
There was already a cupcake in this picture but I do love ice cream cake. And peppermint.
Whatever, even unwashed I still think he'd be fun to play Mario Cart with.
Here's to 500 more posts. Maybe next time they'll all be shirtless, and not just Laura's choice because she'd yell at me. OH! And to appease the runner up in this category:
John Barrowman with puppies (the runner up to cake.)