I Can Has Science?

Merlin: The Wicked Day
Oh, it's wicked, all right.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 2
Arthur sacrifices himself for Camelot... almost.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 1
Morgana unleashes a ghost army on Camelot.

Incredible Movie News (And Bitching About Batman.)


...by incredible, I mean "I cannot believe this sh*t."

I swear at some point we all discussed how it would be hilarious to do a sequel to 300, and it takes place in the afterlife, and all the same characters just have to fight their way out of hell in tiny loincloths. But they'd be sweaty.

I can't find that podcast, but there is apparently a real sequel to 300 called 300: Battle of Artemisia.

But wait, no it's not. It's Frank Miller’s graphic novel Xerxes, which is about -- wait for it -- Xerxes. So really not about 300 at all, thus not a sequel, and only barely a prequel. But I'm glad people are calling it the 300 sequel, and Hollywood is so unbelievably bereft of marketing skills, they're going to put 300: in the title so all us 'tards out in the sticks can figure out it's 'bout sword fightin' and whatnot.

Anyway, the story here is that the director is going to be Noam Murro, whose only other movie directing credit is a comedy that none of you saw. And he was previously set to direct Die Hard 5. And, also, there is apparently going to be a Die Hard 5. This time the helicopter comes and knocks on John McClane's door with a candy gram.

In other movie news, I bet you've not seen or heard a thing about some bat movie that's shooting in Pittsburgh, right? I don't want to spoiler anyone because that's fucking rude, but if you've already seen the pictures involuntarily or you just don't care, click here. Yes, that is a set still of (I hope) a stunt double casually chatting up another stunt double, and they just happen to be dressed like Batman and Ill-Fitting Sweatshirt guy.

I'm not here to judge Bane's "costume," though. I just want to know what makes them think Tom Hardy is big enough to be Bane in this scene. (Or, the stunt double. Whomever it is.) Are they digitally embiggening Bane? I'm serious, are they? I know it's hard to get real life to reflect the comics but have we forgotten this so soon?


No, I don't think anyone's really forgotten this, especially not Bane, who just mentioned it in Secret Six, and is also motivated to bring the whole team down by trying to recreate the good times (referenced above.) And no, I don't think Bane is a real person. Much. But he DID snap Batman right the fuck in half, and from the photos being plastered all over online, movie Bane's shorter and dumpier than Batman.


UPDATE: (Every time I write that I hear it in Robert Stack's voice): Mr. Hunter Camp has criticized my use of the Knightfall image because the art isn't very good. I got off my ass and scanned this from the most recent Secret Six, Issue #35. It's Bane talking to Catman, who, for all intents and purposes, should be about the same size as Batman. (Read: Average sized dudes.)

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