I really wish we weren't so awesome, it ruins day-to-day living for everything else.

Merlin: The Wicked Day
Oh, it's wicked, all right.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 2
Arthur sacrifices himself for Camelot... almost.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 1
Morgana unleashes a ghost army on Camelot.

Smallville: And don't forget the magic rocks!

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I can't even bring myself to write this up. From the press release:

After 10 incredible seasons, Smallville: The Complete Series will arrive on DVD this fall. This ultimate collector’s set for the ultimate fan features over 192 hours of content – including all 218 episodes, over five hours of newly added special features such as an unaired, never-before- seen Superboy pilot from 1961, a 90-minute series retrospective with all new interviews, the 2010 final Comic-Con panel and more!

An email exchange and more info, after the jump:

In addition, exclusive printed materials include a Daily Planet newspaper, written by DC Comics, that highlights the important storylines developed during the 10- year run of the show and an episode guide with never-before-seen production art (storyboards/sketches) and behind-the-scenes photos. Smallville: The Complete Series is presented in highly collectable new packaging consisting of two lay-flat picture books that hold 62 discs.

Brenda: I wish we had Peter O'Toole dolls to bitchily critique Smallville, instead of Hawkman and Green Arrow.

Laura: There is no way I could even pretend that Peter O'Toole would care enough about Smallville to be bitchy about it. I on the other hand I can be very bitchy about it, and complain that it doesn't dispense whiskey as a nod to O'Toole.

Brenda: Putting whiskey in the box may ruin the dvd extras, and I don't have a problem with that.

Laura: I already have the first 5 seasons on DVD, and I'd actually like to get rid of them.

Brenda: I only have the one I was in, and after watching myself talk about Smallville for five minutes, I stopped watching Smallville completely. True story.

I'm sure of course there will be people who are very excited about this box set, I guess I shouldn't rain on their terribly written parades. Do they write parades?

Laura: I'm sure the credits of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade there are writers listed, so yes.

I actually don't think I've ever encountered anyone who enjoys the entire series. I know people who like the early years with Clark and Lex and people who only started watching when Lois was added, which to me is like thinking of zombies as regular people.

Brenda: The show has been on so long there are teenagers that probably never saw the beginning of the series. Lemme just go cry a little bit about that while I try to fit in to my hypercolor shirt and listen to Technotronic un-ironically.

Laura: So you're saying that it's not that they consciously chose to watch a zombified TV series, it's that they just don't know better? I don't think that excuses the fact that they tuned in one day during the bloated corpse of season 6 (or whenever) and said to themselves "this is good. I'm gonna keep watching." People should be able to recognize a bloated corpse when they see it. Think of all those kids who stumble across bodies during the opens on Law & Order.

Brenda: This is the generation that popularized glittery vampires, of course they don't know bad writing when they see it. Of course, we're the generation that turned Mr. Belvedere in to a hit.

You know what? No. Bob Uecker. I stand by that decision.

Laura: Exactly! It's Alf we have to answer for.

My point is that the early seasons had their faults, but at least they were about something. The show had a purpose and it was legitimately telling a story that hadn't really been explored before. After season 5 it's all just half-assed nonsense. It doesn't even look pretty anymore. At the very least it used to look very pretty.

This is in no way me defending my decision to buy the first 5 seasons on DVD though. I mean, I remember loving season 5, but when I really think about it, it had that whole middle section about local politics that made me want to kill myself. This is probably why I never even opened that DVD set. Mostly I just had a severe problem, is what I am saying.

Brenda: I guess if you've never seen the show and you wanted to experiment in watching a trainwreck, this is the box set for you. I mean it's selling for *checks* HOLY HELL IT'S $340. WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THAT?

Isn't the complete X-Files available now for a song and dance routine?

Laura: Probably, but what was it when it first came out? I'm pretty sure that's more than double what most other shows are for their complete series, but I doubt any of the ones I'm thinking of ran half as long. Maybe it actually does dispense whiskey. Check to see if one of the special features is a life time supply.

Or maybe it is delivered to your door by a shirtless Justin Hartley. The whiskey would be better though.

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The two-hour Smallville series finale will air on Friday, May 13, 2011, at 8pm EST on The CW.

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Comments (1)

I think I actually lasted till somewhere mid 6th season.

Better ways to spend $340.00
1. Buy the last 100 issues of Action Comics (or any comic really).
2. Subscribe to Netflix for THREE years.
3. Go see a matinee in a theater every week for a year.