When we heard there was a new Charlie's Angels tv show reboot, our first question was "Why?" and then our second question was "Aw, crap, Drew Barrymore's not producing it, is she? Does this mean no guns?"
As cool as it was to have women kung-fu-ing their way through the bad guys, you sort of need the big phallic symbols the original Angels had to complete the badassery. Unfortunately this was left out of the movies, which were ok and godawful, in that order.
Anyway, Charlie's Angels 3.0 is being executive produced by Barrymore, but it's also got Millar Gough Ink (Smallville) showrunning it, which means if there aren't several longing looks between Angels as the latest soft pop alt rock plays loudly in the background, I'll eat my hat. And I'm not even wearing a hat. There does appear to be guns carried by actual Angels in the trailer, though, so perhaps their influence will be a positive one -- at least as far as ass kicking goes.
The other changes are a more young, buff, not-shirt-wearing Bosley, and apparently Robert Wagner as the voice of Charlie. We're keeping the angsty backstories, though. One's a thief, one's an ex-cop (a dirty cop, no less. Why's the "dirty" cop gotta be the black one?) and a "street racer." The Angel who is fast and also probably furious is played by Minka Kelly, whom you may remember from Friday Night Lights.
The characters actually look interesting despite the contrived histories, but honestly I don't know what this reboot has to offer that Hawaii 5-0 isn't already butchering. It's also a shame they couldn't break format on the Angels Ethnicity Code of having "A white one, a not blonde white one, and a not white one," but at least Annie Ilonzeh's hair isn't being straightened. So far her hair is my favorite superficial thing about the show.
And really, how can you have any more than superficial feelings about this? The premise is kind of creepy these days -- a secretive old man hires wayward women with nothing to lose as mercenaries. Then they get a male "handler" to "guide" them around. They wear short skirts or bikinis and hijinks ensue. As Laura has said, "Women running around in bikinis and high heels weren't my choice of role model as a child."
Sad that we couldn't have had a decent Wonder Woman show put together with another Friday Night Lights alumnus. Instead ABC ordered 12 episodes of this, to air Thursday nights at 8pm starting in the Fall.
What do you think? You think I should be allowed to produce a way better Wonder Woman pilot? Me, too.