A fangirl cannot live by ridicule alone.

Merlin: The Wicked Day
Oh, it's wicked, all right.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 2
Arthur sacrifices himself for Camelot... almost.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 1
Morgana unleashes a ghost army on Camelot.

Are Your Toys Going To Kill You In Your Sleep?


Brenda: Did I mention I saw Toy Story 3? In blu-ray! ...I cried a lot. In hi-def.

Laura: I cried a lot when I saw it, too. On the plus side, I learned that I am still capable of human emotion outside of sleep deprived delirium, though I'm not sure that's worth the new paranoia and guilt. I mean, I already had a lot of paranoia and guilt. Fuck you, Pixar!

Brenda: I also think it's horrible of Pixar to make you think your toys are resigned to their horrific deaths.

Laura: Yes, I felt horribly guilty after seeing it. That just made me cry more.

Brenda: Well, my toys all got cleaned and put on display in the basement "fun-time room." So at least they have somewhere awesome to hang out. And the She-ras got to see New York City last year. So my bases are covered in case they come to life at night. I don't fear robot apocalypse, I fear Barbie revolution.

Laura: Most of my toys are in boxes. Some day the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles might take their vengeance out on me.

Brenda: Tiny reptile justice! Our toys will kill us all when we aren't expecting it! They're plotting, waiting and watching.

Laura: See, the really sad thing about Toy Story 3 though, is that they're not.

Brenda: Well, first they turn on one another, but then they turn on their oppressors. It's the way of the world.

Laura: It really just came down to the one bad seed. And the thing is, those toys weren't loved. If you ever loved your toys, they will love you forever, unconditionally. That's what's sad.

Brenda: Except the potato heads, who will turn on you if they think you wanted to throw them out.

Laura: Well, that's true.

Brenda: In order to believe otherwise they need first hand contradictory evidence, apparently. Pfff. Atheists.

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Comments (5)


I seriously cannot watch those movies. Remember that Jim Henson movie from the early 80s about Christmas toys coming to life? It was a proto Toy Story and my 2nd grade teacher showed it to my class. Ever since, I have been convinced my toys and stuffed animals are living things. I'm 31 and I still believe this to the point where I will buy a forlorn looking toy at the grocery store if it looks pathetic enough. I saw the first Toy Story once and never again. I need therapy.

I like how you say all that as if Laura and I didn't just illustrate how nuts we also are.


We're all nuts. I'm less worried about my toys killing me than about them being sad.


Well, you can watch the video then, it's all super happy in love toys. Also a song I can't get out of my head.

I keep a few toys in the same drawer as my taxes. Figure if they're going to live without me, they might as well get some work done.