(From the upcoming All-Star Superman, click to embiggen.)
Warner Brothers has found their Superman in Henry Cavill, and once people got done arguing about whether or not it was OK for a Brit to play an alien raised in Kansas (only I seemed concerned with whether it was suitable for someone so sexy to play an icon of wholesomeness), people naturally turned to the next burning question. Who should play Lois Lane? Understandable. She's usually the second most important character in a Superman movie. Except now there is all sorts of talk that Lois Lane may not be the female lead in the Man of Steel, or that she might not even be in it at all.
I'm just going to ignore all that, because it's stupid. So we're just going to go ahead with the speculation. After what happened the last time, people are rightfully nervous. (Superman Returns had many problems, but I am certain I am not alone in my belief that Kate Bosworth was among its biggest.) Now, everyone is going to have different ideas about who should play Lois Lane, because, as with any character that has been around so long and been interpreted so many ways, everyone has different ideas about who Lois Lane is.
Entertainment Weekly's Darren Franich is no different, and he expressed those ideas in a post on the PopWatch blog where he explained his theory of "the Kidder-Durance Scale of Lois Lane-dom":
Margot Kidder played Lois Lane opposite Christopher Reeve in four Superman films in the ’70s and ’80s. Her performance emphasized Lois’ workaholic personality and her slightly unhinged, chain-smoking tenacity...At the far end of the scale sits Erica Durance, who’s been playing Lois on Smallville for several years. Durance’s Lois is more glamorous, more obviously heroic, and more overtly sexy — you wouldn’t have seen Kidder’s Lois go undercover as a stripper. She’s almost more an action heroine, really.
Now, I think this is all very interesting, and I personally lean more towards the Margot Kidder version, never having warmed to the more modern, Army brat, version of the character...Wait! What was that?
Durance’s Lois is more glamorous, more obviously heroic, and more overtly sexy — you wouldn’t have seen Kidder’s Lois go undercover as a stripper. She’s almost more an action heroine, really.
What the fuck does going undercover as a stripper have to do with being an action heroine?
Let's start with how completely awful it was that "Smallville" thought it was OK to have an episode where Lois goes undercover as a stripper. It's obnoxious for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it's a show about Superman. You want to know why Margot Kidder wouldn't have gone undercover as a stripper? Because kids were watching those movies. That's why.
You can tell me about that John Byrne comic where Superman and Big Barda make a porno until you're blue in the face. I don't ever want to see Superman and his related characters in a strip club. However, Franich himself points out the tenacity and workaholic tendencies of Kidder's Lois Lane. You better believe that if the story was in the strip club, she would have found her way inside the strip club. Any Lois Lane worth her salt would. (Most of them are far too short and flat-chested to pass themselves off as strippers, though.)
Leaving the topic of strippers -- (I know, I'm sad about it, too) -- I was serious in my statement that Darren Franich's overall point was interesting, despite some absolutely head-scratch worthy comments. His casting ideas aren't bad. I think Anne Hathaway would have made an excellent Lois Lane, if she weren't already playing Selina Kyle. Rachel McAdams would bring a lot of wit and charm to the role. OK, I would have to flat out swear off the film if Jessica Biel is in it, because she's just awful always, but Sarah Polley is an intriguing idea.
Prior to the Variety report I'm ignoring, a supposed "short list" of actresses in the running for Lois Lane. Aside from Rachel McAdams, I think it's pretty awful, though. If they were looking for someone with TV experience, but not much of a film career, like they did with Superman, Castle's Stana Katic might be good, unless being older than Cavill would rule her out. Personally, I'd like Lois Lane to at least seem mature enough to seem like a highly professional woman. I think I have come up with the absolutely perfect actress for the role. Kristin Bell is young, but "Veronica Mars" proved that she can play a role with intelligence and humor. She's both shrewd and funny, and could be intimidating as hell. She's blonde, but, as the picture shows, that's easily fixed.
Who do you think should play Lois Lane? Would you have liked to see Margot Kidder strip? I'm just going to go ahead and assume you want to see Henry Cavill strip.