I really wish we weren't so awesome, it ruins day-to-day living for everything else.

Merlin: The Wicked Day
Oh, it's wicked, all right.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 2
Arthur sacrifices himself for Camelot... almost.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 1
Morgana unleashes a ghost army on Camelot.

Cross Stitch, heh. Embroidery, heh. A Jedi craves not these things.

Well, last week, we brought you nine nerdy knitting projects. It's only fair that this week, we bring you an unspecified amount of the other kind of needlecraft. Myself, I have no idea what it takes to do this sort of thing. But I do know quality geek craftwork when I see it, and Sherezada Windham-Kent's hokey religions cross stitch project has always been my favorite. The Star Wars Blog even interviewed her about it, and she had thus to say:

I had an image in my head of this being something Grandma and Grandpa Solo would have on their Kashyyyk cabin wall, while they rocked in hand-whittled chairs with blaster rifles over their knees. It’s pretty silly, but it’s true!

For more fun projects, hit the link.

I have no idea how to cross stitch or embroider, so I'm going to toss to Carey here for a moment to explain:

Carey: Cross stitch is based on a series of crosses or little x’s to create a design from a printed pattern. I’ve been doing it since I was 6. Embroidery is like freestyle thread magic. I have no idea how to do it. You just sew a bunch of shit into some fabric and it comes out all awesome and stuff. Apparently, medieval chicks did this all the time and were really good at it. That and making babies.

I like cross stitch a lot because it’s a repetitive process that keeps me busy while the teevee is on and it tends to soothe and calm my rage, which I have in abundance over a variety of things. When I was a kid, I used to sew these fucked up Frankenstein looking things that weren’t supposed to look so messed up. My mom used to get me Precious Moments cross stitch patterns. When I was 8, that was cool.

Brenda: So, speaking of fucked up Frankensteins, Stacey pointed us to Sublime Stitching, which has a bunch of rad "iron-on" embroidery patterns. For $5 you can either get the zombies and monsters above, or you can get transfers for embroidery of Tara McPherson designs. I don't exactly know what goes in to an iron-on transfer or embroidery, but I do love me some Tara McPherson.


Elf Stitch at Etsy has many different Dr. Who sampler patterns available for $12 each. This one is my favorite, but if you like Daleks or "Tardis, Sweet Tardis," those are included (amongst other Dr. Who things that I don't necessarily understand the references to.)

In the "Holy hell, you've got to be kidding me" category, there is this sublime Shaun of the Dead sampler:


It's from Lindy at StitchFight. It was done for a Craftster challenge, and I don't see a pattern available anywhere. I suppose the very crafty of you could figure it out from the picture, though.

Carey: As previously stated, I love the hell out of wizards and dragons and shit. But one can only sew so many wizards with flowing robes and crystal balls and hang them over the toilet in the spare bathroom. So, I found Dracolair Creations. Oh my god… how much do I love this site? I own half the patterns on here and almost everyone I know gets one of those knuckle busting bookmarks for birthdays of Christmas.


The only bad thing about the patterns is they are so intricate that making stuff from here tends to ruin my eyes and my fingers, but the end result is titties.

My other most favorite cross stitch site on the planet is Subversive Cross Stitch. I own a number of patterns from here and know a few people who will be getting finished products for late Christmas. There’s something lovely about swears sewn into aida cloth in a nice sampler motif.


Carey: Anyone coming into your home and seeing these on the wall would have to look twice (especially at the “Fancy Fuck”), and still not really believe what they’re seeing. What I love about these patterns is they’re easy, fun, and excellent for beginners – if you have never cross stitched before and want to learn, pick up some of these patterns.

I have truly won the in-law lottery. I got "Zombie Cross-Stitch: 12 Patterns to Raise the Dead" from my mother in law for Halloween this year. (This was even better than the time she got me an elephant shaped watering can where you fill it up in the butt hole. She really gets me.) I admit, I haven’t tried making any of these yet, because I’ve been busy sewing swears. But they look like so much fun and they’re at the top of my to-do list.

So, enjoy. Grab some of these or even make up your own (like I tend to do once in a while), take some pictures and show the Geektress community what kind of crafty skilzzz you have!

Share |

Comments (2)

No big skills for me right now craft wise. I just learned how to knit so am not following any particular pattern at the moment.

I do want to be a writer and photographer though, so I guess that's considered a skill. Some of my photography is online on DeviantArt, but I haven't uploaded much lately, haven't had a chance to take more pictures.