This past Friday was the two hour event "Smallville: Absolute Justice," that had superhero fans talking. Viewer reactions were pretty mixed, so I thought I would get the opinions of two of the episode's stars, or, at least, the opinions of their action figures.
So, what did you both think of “Absolute Justice”?
Green Arrow: It was pretty good. I think I nodded off for a bit during the second half though.
Hawkman: The parts with the JSA were good, but I was confused as to when the past events of our careers were supposed to take place. It was very anachronistic.
Green Arrow: I have no idea. I wasn’t paying attention.
Green Arrow: That guy who plays me? That’s a good lookin’ guy. I like him. He should maybe think about growing the van dyke though.
Hawkman: The actor who played me made me sound ridiculous. I don’t sound like that.
Green Arrow: You mean saying everything with a silly growl? That’s exactly what you sound like.
Hawkman: What about that idiotic voice modulator they had you using? Like that was any better?
Green Arrow: It’s to hide my secret identity. It’s smart!
Hawkman: I didn’t like my wings either, or that breast plate. It made me seem weak and afraid.
Green Arrow: It also made you look fat.
What did you think of the rest of the characters?
Green Arrow: Would’ve been nice if Black Canary was there. I always appreciate seein’ Pretty Bird’s fishnets in HD.
Hawkman: Yeah, and I had a great time watching my friends get killed off. Why’s it always so tragic? They always have to focus on the death, especially with me and Hawkgirl. We had our good times too.
Green Arrow: I was just surprised that one of the JSA guys was acting all stalkerish there at the beginning and it wasn’t bird boy over here. He’s the one with the experience.
Hawkman: What’s that supposed to mean?
Green Arrow: Why don’t we ask Hawkgirl?
Soooo…You guys did interact a lot in this episode. Did you think that was handled well?
Hawkman: I really don’t like him, so yes.
Green Arrow: Yeah, I got no problems there.
Stargirl: I kept expecting them to make out!
Green Arrow and Hawkman: What? NO!
Oh, Stargirl, I didn’t notice you were here too.
Stargirl: That’s because they won’t let me out of this box.
Since you obviously watched the show, what did think of how you were portrayed?
Stargirl: They made me look so old. That actress was ancient. WTH?! Also, my staff looked like a stick with a lightbulb on it. So cheap. Just like the special effects.
Was there anything about the show you liked?
Green Arrow: I liked the part where I exchanged sexy emails with Black Canary.
That didn’t actually happen in the show.
Green Arrow: Yeah, but you know it was happening off screen. That’s what counts.
Hawkman: I liked when I threw Green Arrow through a window.
Green Arrow: Yeah, like I’d really ever let that happen.
Hawkman: Like you could stop me.
Did you think any of the characters came off particularly well in this episode?
Hawkman: Martian Manhunter.
Green Arrow: J’onn was pretty bad ass.
Stargirl: Yeah, Martian Manhunter was awesome.
Do you have any final thoughts on the episode?
Stargirl: The JSA should get it’s own spinoff or something. We were so much cooler than those other losers. I mean, I’m seventeen and I’m already doing my thing as Stargirl. Clark Kent is like 40 and he doesn’t even fly yet. He’s supposed to be Superman! What a disappointment.
Green Arrow: Yeah, and why was it all “Clark is so different from the others. Clark is so righteous. Clark will bring hope. Blah…blah…blah!” He barely even did anything in the episode. What about me? I formed the Justice League!
Hawkman: You’re an ass.
Green Arrow: You’re a fascist!
Hawkman: I should crush you with my mace!
Green Arrow: When pigs fly! Oh, wait! You already do!