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Bring me the head of Tony Stark!

20 Uses For Iron Man's Helmet

In the comic books, Tony Stark has been an inventor, an industrialist, a playboy, a superhero, a member of the Avengers, the Secretary of Defense, a member of a secret organization called the Illuminati, the Director of S.H.E.I.L.D., a futurist (whatever the fuck that is), and an alcoholic. He's gone in and out of the superhero closet, traveled through time with Dr. Doom, fought Communism, slept with a lot of women, shot Hulk into space, and imprisoned a bunch of his friends in the Negative Zone. His most recent role is as Marvel's resident Fascist Douchebag.

Now Iron Man is the subject of a major summer movie starring Robert Downey, Jr. Naturally, this means his head was bound to be turned into a Slurpee cup. Slurpees are awesome, but once the deliciousness is gone, what does one do with a Fascist Douchebag's helmet? Geektress has got some ideas.

20. Pencil Holder

The most obvious use for his head, of course, would be to set him on your desk and fill him with pencils and pens. Of course, you could always use him as...

19. Makeup Holder

...a way to keep all your mascara and eyeliner from rolling off the bathroom sink, if you're so inclined to keep Tony's head in your bathroom. But by far the most practical:

18. Gun Holder

I know I'm always looking for a good place to keep my piece.

17. Candy Dish

Another obvious one, because keeping your jellybeans any place else when you've got this thing lying around is just crazy talk.


16. Pill Dish

...for all those people that like to keep their party guests happy. (Or sad.) (Or happy.)

15. Bullet Dish

I mean, if you're going to have one as a gun holder, buy two and make it a set. But, for even more practical ways to use the plastic Iron Man helmet, try:

14. Door Stop

13. Piggy Bank

12. Planter / Flower Pot

Then, of course, there are all those "decorative touches" you can add to your home with a little creativity:

11. Candle Holder

10. Decorative Centerpiece

However, if you're really a crafty person, you can figure out ways to be fun, creative, and useful all in one swoop:

9. A Really Awkward Ipod Dock

8. Tissue Dispenser

7. Pin Cushion

6. All Purpose Shaker

In case you want to fill up Tony with cinnamon or salt -- perhaps as a fun talking point in the kitchen for when you're making pastries with friends.

If you're concerned with giving your loved one a final resting place that will bring them great joy in the afterlife:

5. Urn

Of course, Tony Stark would not be Tony Stark without the alcoholism, so we've created a special Adults Only* section for the helmet:

4. Beer Cozy

3. Ice Bucket for Tiny Bottles of Alcohol

2. Bong

And, of course, the #1 use for Iron Man's head:

1. Martini Shaker

Believe it or not, the top of my martini shaker fits perfectly on the top of this cup thing. As though it was meant to be.

*Of course Gun Holders are totally kid friendly! What is this, France?

Intro by Laura, Photos and list by Brenda

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Comments (2)


Thanks! Now I know where to keep my makeup while I'm waiting for the next Fall Out Boy concert to come to my area!

Also "Mmmmmm... honey beer!"

Boddington Pub Ale? DOR SHO GHA!

BTW, where can He order one of those tissue dispensers? The Mighty One has allergies.