A fangirl cannot live by ridicule alone.

Merlin: The Wicked Day
Oh, it's wicked, all right.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 2
Arthur sacrifices himself for Camelot... almost.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 1
Morgana unleashes a ghost army on Camelot.

T:SCC Vick's Chip (Part One)

scc08.jpg

Part one of the two hour "season finale."

FADE IN:

INT. OFFICE

CROMARTIE / GARRET is playing with a SNOW GLOBE. His TERMINATOR VISION cannot identify what it is. In walks an official looking dude.

CROMARTIE / GARRET
I need information on all the possible John Connors in this school district.

OFFICIAL DUDE
You FBI dudes are so uptight about drugs, man. Tell me you've never smoked some herb, dude.

CROMARTIE / GARRET
I've never smoked some herb, dude.

OFFICIAL DUDE
Okay, whatever. I need your paperwork in order to take advantage of the Patriot Act in this manner.

CROMARTIE / GARRET
Well, I don't have any paperwork, so I'm just going to choke you to death.

OFFICIAL DUDE
Choke!

CROMARTIE looks up the info and pulls all the possible John Connors from the OFFICIAL DUDE's computer.

INT. CONNOR HOUSE

LENA HEADEY (V.O.)
Remember that voice over about how people wear masks, the one from the second episode? Lather, rinse, repeat.

THOMAS DEKKER
Mom! Dinner is burning! It's only ten feet away from where I'm sitting but I can't possibly be expected to get up and take it out of the oven! I'm the future messiah of the free world!

LENA walks in to the kitchen, after leaving a voicemail for the dude who has the Chess Playing Computer. She takes the roast out of the oven.

SUMMER GLAU
I also was standing right here next to the stove and was somehow unable to take the roast out when I smelled it burning.

LENA HEADEY
Geez, you guys are a real help.

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN walks in and places on the table the SPARKPLUG MEMORY CHIP from the T-888.

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
I told you that robots lie! The robot had this in her room!

LENA HEADEY
Why would you hide this in your room?

SUMMER GLAU
Uhm... the chip holds really important data, probably. Yeah. that's the ticket.

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
That's such a lie! The chip is the only thing that actually needs to be destroyed, and she didn't destroy it! You can't trust her! I bet she got my friends killed, too!

THOMAS DEKKER
Well, let's hack in to it and see what it says. Can you help, super robot from the future?

SUMMER GLAU
Uhm... no.

THOMAS DEKKER
Hey, awesome. That certainly will help us trust you more.

INT. GAMER HEAVEN - SOME SORT OF UNDERGROUND VIDEO GAME WAREHOUSE

THOMAS and SUMMER are WAITING while a bunch of ASIAN KIDS play VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES.

THOMAS DEKKER
So, are you like a total liar all the time?

SUMMER GLAU
Uhm... no?

An ASIAN GUY walks RIGHT IN TO A STEREOTYPE.

ASIAN GUY
Here is the doohickey for your whatsit to do the thigamajig.

THOMAS DEKKER
Awesome. I'll take two.

INT. CONNOR HOUSE - JOHN'S BEDROOM

THOMAS has hooked up the thigamajig to his computer and the T-888's brain chip.

THOMAS DEKKER
Hey, since you're completely useless, go get me a slurpee.

SUMMER GLAU
Well, since you've now directly insulted me, let me just say you're not giving the chip enough power to function. Idiot.

THOMAS DEKKER
Well, I don't know of any processor that can handle that much voltage.

SUMMER GLAU
It's from the future. Idiot.

THOMAS gives the chip more power, and a flashback plays of a woman in bed talking to the T-888.

THOMAS DEKKER
So... the robot was married to a regular chick?

SUMMER GLAU
Some robots are programmed to find really hot wives.

After the commercial break, another flashback to the T-888's life plays out. His wife is some kind of developer and really really wants to have a heart-to-heart talk with him. She's gonna feel really stupid once she finds out he's a cyborg. Anyway, their names are MR. AND MRS. VICK CHAMBERLAIN. Then a flashback to VICK following his WIFE around all day.

INT. CONNOR KITCHEN

Everyone is loading guns over their morning coffee.

THOMAS DEKKER
That chip is really starting to creep me out.

LENA HEADEY
Suck it up, will ya? God!

SUMMER GLAU
The T-888 is simply protecting his wife by stalking her.

LENA HEADEY
Why would it bother doing that?

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
Because! Robots! Robots suck!

BRIAN storms out.

THOMAS DEKKER
Cameron's not a liar! Hmph!

LENA HEADEY
We'll see. In any case, have fun at school!

EXT. VICK CHAMBERLAIN'S HOUSE

The mail has piled up outside the house. BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN picks the lock to the front door.

LENA HEADEY
Maybe his wife went on a trip?

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
Are you kidding me? She's dead. You know she's gotta be dead.

They search the house, which is full of dead plants. It turns out VICK'S WIFE is named BARBARA, and she's the city manager.

Flashback to VICK'S memories, where BARBARA says she's planning on quitting her job so they can work on their marriage. VICK'S voice over is hilariously monotone. "Don't do that. I'll be bahhhhhk... after I get some milk."

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL COURTYARD - DAY

THOMAS and SUMMER are eating lunch with MORRIS, the little latino guy from shop class.

MORRIS
Let me impress you with my crowd surfing stories.

SUMMER GLAU
Sure, whatever. "Tight."

THOMAS gets up to go talk to SHERRY/CHERYL, who is sitting by herself.

THOMAS DEKKER
So, I hear we're both from Kansas.

CHERYL
No I'm not! That's a lie!

CHERYL storms off.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL LOCKER ROOM - SHOWERS

CROMARTIE / GARRET walks in, looking for one of his possible John Connor matches. The kid is obviously not John Connor, and when the coach tries to yell at GARRET for peeping, GARRET THROWS HIM ACROSS THE ROOM.

INT. CONNOR HOUSE - BATHROOM

BRIAN is brushing his teeth pretty vigorously.

LENA HEADEY
You've been brushing your teeth for twenty minutes with my toothbrush, which is just gross and weird.

BRIAN hands her the toothbrush, and she throws it away. I have no idea what the significance of this scene was.

INT. CONNOR HOUSE - JOHN'S BEDROOM

THOMAS shows LENA and BRIAN a clip from VICK'S memories where he throws a woman who looks like his wife off a cliff.

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
See! I told you! Robots suck!

LENA HEADEY
Alright, we're going to go look for this chick's body.

SUMMER GLAU
That's a dumb idea.

LENA HEADEY
Shut up.

EXT. CLIFF - NIGHT

SUMMER GLAU
I don't get why you're looking for a dead body.

LENA HEADEY
I thought I told you to shut up?

THOMAS and BRIAN find a body, but it's not BARBARA. It's the body of Jessica Peck.

Flashback to VICK'S memories: BARBARA is super pissed that someone named Jessica Peck is trying to shut down her program.

CUT TO:

INT. CONNOR HOUSE

THOMAS DEKKER
Jessica Peck was a lobbyist who was trying to shut down Barbara's traffic light program.

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
Skynet cares about red light cameras now?

SUMMER GLAU
Having a complex surveillance system on every street corner is kind of a bad idea, don't you think? It's part of how Skynet will develop the software for Terminators.

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
Let's blow up city hall!

LENA HEADEY
Let's not.

THOMAS DEKKER
We can put a virus in their software! And I can program this virus in record time, too! If you were skeptical of my computer skills before, this should put all your fears to rest!

EXT. CITY HALL - DAY

LENA and BRIAN are surveilling from across the street. They're at an outdoor cafe.

LENA HEADEY
Did I mention I used to be a waitress? It sucked. I can sometimes understand why robots want to kill all humans.

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
I have no response to that.

The City Hall guards change shifts, and it doesn't appear the front door will be accessible.

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
We can get in through the secret underground Cold War tunnels. I know about them because I did a project about them in the 9th grade. And also I lived there after the apocalypse.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY

A stoner kid walks up to SUMMER, who is at her locker.

STONER KID
Huh-huh. Happy pizza day. Hee hee hee! Here's a message for your brother. There's a narc in the principal's office! Hee!

SUMMER GLAU
(scary concerned face)
Thank you. I have to go now.

SUMMER walks to the office and assesses that GARRET is CROMARTIE. She goes and finds MORRIS. He goes to the office and pretends to be John Connor. CROMARTIE sees that he is NOT A MATCH and LEAVES. That was remarkably easy.

SUMMER takes off to follow CROMARTIE / GARRET but THOMAS walks up behind her and almost BLOWS THEIR COVER. Then she walks away.

MORRIS
Dude! Your sister and I just faked out a narc! It was awesome.

THOMAS DEKKER
There was a cop looking for me? That's not good!

THOMAS runs away after SUMMER.

Flashback to VICK'S memories. BARBARA is upset that her work is distracting her from her marriage TO A ROBOT. To get her to shut up, VICK rubs her cheek soothingly.

INT. JOHN CONNOR'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

SUMMER GLAU
The way Vick touches his wife is kind of sexy.

THOMAS DEKKER
Quit being fucking creepy, jeez. By the way, why'd you lie about that cop?

SUMMER GLAU
The cop was Cromartie, looking for you. But he didn't find you so he won't come back to our school.

THOMAS DEKKER
Holy crap. You can NOT tell my mother this.

LENA walks in.

LENA HEADEY
Don't tell me what?

SUMMER GLAU
Uh, that my nail polish is totally rad?

SUMMER gets up and leaves, winking at THOMAS as she goes. It's creepy.

Flashback to VICK's memories, and SAYLES, the Resistance Fighter, is clearly following BARBARA. This is how VICK found out about the Secret Hideout.

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
Well, I'm sad that my friend was an idiot that got everyone killed, but I'm still not apologizing to the robot.

LENA HEADEY
You guys were tracking Barbara Chamberlain?

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
I guess he was. I didn't know about it.

LENA leaves the room to go through the paperwork they stole from the Secret Hideout.

LENA HEADEY
Dammit, I hate that all these Skynet people are getting killed.

THOMAS DEKKER
Are you still all upset about Andy Goode? Blah blah blah, get over it!

LENA HEADEY
Let's go hack in to City Hall.

INT. SECRET UNDERGROUND COLD WAR TUNNELS

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
Uhm, hey, you believe me about not knowing Sayles was tracking Barbara, right?

LENA HEADEY
I don't believe in anything.

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
Oh...kay. Well, in the future there's no wall here, but right now there's a wall, and we need to get through. So let's blow it up.

LENA HEADEY
You just have to blow up something, don't you?

The explosion blasts through the elevator shaft wall, and they rappel down the side to the basement.

INT. L.A. TRAFFIC CONTROL CENTER

LENA and BRIAN walk in, find a random computer, and plug a flash drive in to it. They upload the virus that THOMAS made, but it doesn't seem to work at all.

LENA HEADEY
The system is blocking the virus.

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
We can still blow it up!

LENA HEADEY
What is it with you and the plastic explosives?

Two SECURITY GUARDS find LENA and BRIAN in the traffic control room and start chasing them, before BRIAN can blow anything up. BRIAN and LENA split up in order to trap the guards. LENA kicks the holy crap out of them. BRIAN makes like he's going to shoot them in the head, but LENA stops him.

Flashback to VICK's memories. BARBARA is working on her traffic program.

INT. JOHN CONNOR'S BEDROOM

THOMAS DEKKER
For some reason I can't unlock this particular memory.

VICK's chip reactivates, dials an internet connection, and suddenly the chip sees THOMAS for some reason, and displays this on the computer monitor in TERMINATOR VISION.

THOMAS and SUMMER freak out and start unplugging everything.

SUMMER GLAU
We should probably be careful with this chip.

LENA and BRIAN walk in.

LENA HEADEY
Your virus didn't work.

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
Let's blow everything up!

LENA HEADEY
Shut up.

THOMAS DEKKER
I have an idea now! Too bad I didn't think of it before you guys broke into City Hall.

After the commercial break, THOMAS is performing BRAIN SURGERY on SUMMER.

LENA HEADEY
Explain to me again, so the audience knows, what exactly it is you're doing.

THOMAS DEKKER
I'm going to remove her brain chip, plug it in to a traffic camera, and hope that we can crash the system from the inside.

LENA HEADEY
Will that work?

THOMAS DEKKER & SUMMER GLAU
We have no idea.

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
This is such a bad idea. Have I not already clearly outlined that robots are bad? What if we plug her chip in, and she's the one who becomes Skynet and launches all the nukes?

THOMAS DEKKER
You don't have to trust the robot, you just have to trust me. I'm the robotmaster!

THOMAS peels away a flap of SUMMER's skin and reveals the brain chip. With SUMMER's help, THOMAS removes it, and SUMMER powers down.

EXT. STREET CORNER - NIGHT

THOMAS and BRIAN have opened up the control box for a traffic light, and THOMAS has plugged in SUMMER's chip. While she's destroying the traffic system from the inside, THOMAS and BRIAN have a heart to heart chat.

THOMAS DEKKER
I believe you about not knowing your friend was stalking Barbara Chamberlain.

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
Hey, thanks.

The virus or whatever finishes destroying the traffic system, and BRIAN unplugs the chip. He makes like he's about to throw it away.

THOMAS DEKKER
Hey! Don't destroy my robot!

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
ROBOTS ARE BAD! ROBOTS WILL KILL YOU DEAD!

THOMAS snatches the chip away from BRIAN as all the traffic lights go CRAZY and people in LOS ANGELES who DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE start CRASHING IN TO ONE ANOTHER. Cutaway shots of an UNHOLY GRIDLOCK SITUATION which is really just TYPICAL LOS ANGELES HIGHWAY TRAFFIC.

INT. CONNOR HOUSE

THOMAS puts SUMMER's chip back in her brain. Then he just folds over the flap of skin and presses it down, because that will TOTALLY HOLD.

SUMMER reboots and sits up.

THOMAS DEKKER
So, hey. What was being downloaded into the city computers like?

SUMMER GLAU
Radical.

LENA walks in on BRIAN as he's TAKING A SHOWER. This episode is full of examples of how BRIAN loves his PERSONAL HYGIENE.

LENA HEADEY
Hey, the guy who has the Ultra Chess Playing Computer, Sarkissian, called me back.

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN
Could this have possibly waited until I was out of the shower, maybe?

LENA HEADEY
You killed Andy Goode! You lie to me again and I'll kill you.

Flashback to VICK's memories. BARBARA is in the shower, babbling about how great Tahiti is, and VICK enters the shower and CHOKES HER TO DEATH.

LENA HEADEY (V.O.)
So much danger in this world is hidden behind masks. Like how evil hides as your loving husband and then chokes you in the shower while you're thinking about a second honeymoon in Tahiti. Anyway, terrible fate, apocalypse, la la la, et cetera.

FADE OUT.

Share |