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Merlin: The Wicked Day
Oh, it's wicked, all right.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 2
Arthur sacrifices himself for Camelot... almost.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 1
Morgana unleashes a ghost army on Camelot.

Movie News Roundup

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Because we essentially missed all this news the first time around, here it is, in convenient digest format.

Back in December, Peter Berg said he wanted to remake Dune and was totally planning on doing it as soon as the writer's strike ended. Unfortunately for Dune, the writer's strike ended.

So now, Berg is all set to direct his movie adaptation of Frank Herbert's 1965 novel "Dune," which you may or may not remember as having already been attempted in 1984 by David Lynch -- and then again in 2000 as a miniseries by the Sci Fi channel. Expect the musical theater version of Dune in 2015, followed by the movie adaptation of the musical in 2018 or so.

"Coming Eventually to a Theater Near You: BrigaDune!"

Moving right along... Last week Steve Kloves, the dude who's so far adapted all the Harry Potter books into screenplays, released a statement about the last installment of the film franchise -- Deathly Hallows. (I abbreviated the title because I'm cool, kids, see? See? I totally know what GoF stands for!)

...we briefly — and seriously — considered doing Goblet of Fire as two films. So this concept is not altogether new. As for Deathly Hallows, I intuited — almost from the first moments I began reading it and certainly once I’d finished — that to realize the story in a single film was going to be a tall order. Others in 'the group' felt similarly. So the idea of two films began to get kicked around as early as late summer of 2007. We didn’t take it lightly. But ultimately everyone felt that despite the challenges it would present, it was the most sound creative decision. I’m sure some will think we’re crazy.

::slowly raises hand, realizes expressing opinions about Harry Potter movies is futile, quickly lowers hand::

Really, how hard is it to adapt the last Harry Potter book in to a movie? It's the easiest one. "Three teenagers go camping for three quarters of the film. There is a lot of bitching and moaning. Just as most of the audience gets up to pee, there's suddenly a battle scene where all your favorite characters die and Lord Voldemort accidentally kills himself. The End."

"P.S., Run the happy-sappy epilogue during the credits. The End Infinity."

When asked for comment, an "industry insider"* commented: "I might know nothing about Harry Potter, but I do know that two movies make more money than one."

*one of our regular readers, Jacktion!.

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Entertainment Weekly Online has the first pictures from Wolfman, and an interview with Rick Baker about the work it took to apply wolfman makeup onto Benecio Del Toro's head. Laura's always complaining about the lack of a decent looking werewolf, and she's pretty impressed with the photos, so I guess you can be expecting her to show up on opening weekend. Or at the very least, you can be expecting her to consider it a lot.

However, something I definitely won't be considering, and am actually amazed that it's even still being attempted, is the Justice League movie -- now titled Justice League: Mortal.

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Aside from being possibly the stupidest name I've ever heard, (why not just "Justice", like the Alex Ross miniseries?), it's starring a bunch of people I've never heard of. And until recently, it was going to be shot entirely in Australia for the staggering price of 200 million dollars, which is more than enough to finance several Bruce Timm movies -- you know, something that might actually be good.

Anyway, furthering this belief of mine that this movie should never be made: The Australian government agrees that it sucks out loud, and has denied George Miller the tax discount he wanted to get by shooting the flick in Sydney. Which means that George will stomp his feet and hold his breath until he can find some other sucker country to give him a 40% rebate for Schumacher-ing all of DC's characters at once.

And finally, in "Joseph 'McG' McGinty Really Wants Me To Punch Him In The Throat" news: McG is maybe casting Anton Yelchin as Kyle Reese in the fourth Terminator movie. If you don't know who Yelchin is, he's playing Chekov in the new Star Trek mistake movie. Which means you still don't know who he is, but you have all day to Google. Fortunately Slashfilm went through the trouble of doing a splitscreen for me to show you why his casting makes about as much sense as Christian Bale portraying John Connor.

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Slashfilm goes on to talk about how Kyle Reese was born after Judgement Day and was a teenager who helped John Connor fight Skynet. Kyle Reese was born in 2003. Judgement Day is 2011. Kyle is 24 when he goes back in time to shag Sarah Connor. John is 32. So, figure out if it's Slashfilm's mistake, or if McG really didn't bother watching any movies or consulting anyone who knows anything about Terminator.

Seeing as he and his production company have their names all over the Spaced remake, but they never bothered to ask Edgar Wright or Simon Pegg or Jessica Stevenson if an American version of their show was cool with them (even maybe just asking if they wanted to give their blessing to the project before their names were used in all the press releases promoting the new remake would have been nice,) I'm going with:

McG's a douchebag, who should stick with making tv shows about rich, white, overprivileged kids from Southern California. They can call the next one: McG: A Biography. Stop telling people you're from Michigan, you mother fucker. We still gotta claim Madonna and Kid Rock. I sure as hell am not going to admit you're actually from Kalamazoo.

By the way, make sure to send any and all comments or complaints about the fourth Terminator to tsalvation@gmail.com.

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Comments (3)

That splitscreen makes me weep.

Rick Baker is the fucking master though. Fuck CGI!

Rania:

Australia hates the Justice League movie too?! As if I needed another reason to love that brilliant country!*

Seriously, Australia. Call me.

*Except for all of the shit that can kill you.

Dane:

"BrigaDune" - Ha! Genius.