You Can't Please All The Fanboys All The Time, Or At All

Merlin: The Wicked Day
Oh, it's wicked, all right.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 2
Arthur sacrifices himself for Camelot... almost.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 1
Morgana unleashes a ghost army on Camelot.

Professor Lupin: Now Even Torkier


Here's our 2008 Toy Fair roundup. First of all, our header graphic here is one of NECA's new Harry Potter busts, available starting June 2008. At $55 it's slightly less expensive than the full body statue things for Voldemort and Harry himself, but since I never noticed until now that David Thewlis is like a young Peter Tork, perhaps this thing will satisfy both your Harry Potter and your Monkees needs.


Then there is the Blair Walking Backwards Down The Staircase Rendered In Pants-Shittingly Accurate Detail, also from NECA. I can't honestly say why you would want to put this on the fireplace mantle, and I certainly don't foresee anyone taking this out of the packaging and mixing it up with their Care Bears and GI Joes. But perhaps there are Exorcist fans out there willing to pay for it.

This year's Toy Fair in NYC even introduced "green" toys, like Corgi's Hydrogen-powered remote control car (even your children can be as smug as you!). Now, just what you always wanted: solar powered toys that you can only play with in direct sunlight.


Kicking off the Indiana Jones And the Kingdom Of I'm Getting Too Old For This Shit promotional blitzkrieg is Lego. This summer they'll be releasing a Lego-style animated game with Lucasarts, in the vein of those Star Wars Lego games. Until then, they've put a teaser web version up at their site.


Of course, not to be outdone by Lego's video games and special adventure sets, Hasbro is releasing a whole line of action figures inspired by each film. But they're nowhere as cute as the the Adventure Heroes line of toys they're releasing in May, modeled after the Star Wars "Galactic Heroes" toy sets that are meant for 2 year olds but that I secretly buy for myself.


Speaking of Star Wars, on Flickr, I found this adorable photo of what appears to be a Jango Fett Nesting Doll. I'm assuming Hot Toys' first wave of "Chubby" dolls was a success, and the proposed wave two is a go. Let's hope so, because as cute as the Obi Wan was, it's the Han and Leia nesters that make the most sense:


Hasbro will also introduce its line of Iron Man toys in March, and they are just as adorable as the Galactic/Adventure heroes line. No word on if the action figures are Mint In Box with Dickwad Fascism or not. (Ultimately we'll have to ask Laura for her opinion on that one.)

There's also a set of Hulk figures arriving in May, to promote the new movie reboot with Edward Norton. Best of all is probably the Hulk Bank, but I would only get it to say "YOU KNOW KERMIT? GREAT FRIEND OF HULK!" But anyway, who wants to play with Bruce Banner when you have a tiny Tony Stark you can get drunk and drop off the roof of your house? (Although, Hulk Operation comes very, very close.)

But, better than all that is Hasbro's greatest entry into the world of Indiana Jones toys -- the sound F/X whip!


Yes, kids, now, for only $19.99, you too can beat the crap out of your baby brother or sister with realistic sound f/x! Available this May, the cleverly disguised torture devise even plays the Raiders of the Lost Ark theme song, so you can flog your friends in 4/4 time.

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Comments (3)

If it doesn't come with dickwad fascism, it's not an Iron Man toy. Simple as that.

I will have that Indiana Jones whip. It is exactly the movie tie-in toy I never knew I needed. I will keep it with my lightsaber.


I'm disappointed that the idol held by the big Lego Indy isn't also made of Legos.

FYI, lashing people in 3/4 time is much more rewarding.


I am looking forward to the lego Indiana Jones game. I still have a boner for the original. And, thank goodness I have kids now to cover for why I too buy those Adventure Heroes.