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Knight Rider News Affords Shilling Opportunities

knight-rider-poster.jpg

I imagine the conversation went something like this:

Makers of new Knight Rider movie: Hey, GM. You know how you built a new Camaro for Transformers? Can you design us a new Firebird?

General Motors: Go away, we're busy diddling around with Corvettes.

Makers of new Knight Rider movie: Well, okay. I guess we'll just have Will Arnett portray a Ford Mustang, then.

General Motors: We are so confused by the new Dodge Charger! Won't someone love us?

And then, two weeks before the new Knight Rider movie is to air, G.M. finally pulls their head out of their ass and goes: "Oh, wait, did you say Will Arnett? But... he's the voice of G.M.! This cannot be!"

The next step, of course, is to re-cast Val Kilmer as the voice of the Knight Industries Three Thousand (now with a three instead of a two!) car.

While I like Will Arnett and I GLOVE Val Kilmer, neither are William Daniels. And yet, both seem perfectly good replacements for one another, AND for Daniels. Since none of this news enrages or embitters me, I have nothing clever to say. Let the shilling commence!

For instance, you could be buying, renting, or watching Will Arnett in Let's Go To Prison. It's an excellent film that has for some strange reason caused me to actually like Dax Shepard.

Or, you could be downloading Val Kilmer's new album thing, but I won't be doing that myself. Any brave souls out there want to give it a whirl and send in their thoughts, I might post them, maybe. But only if your review makes reference to Vogons, because despite my glove of Val, I don't see how these lyrics could lead to anything good:

I went over to Jimmy Furlow's,
he's off hunting in Mexico.
I took his .45,
ain't gonna tell no lie.
I walk right through that rain (on Main.)

I mean, it better be a country song or I might cry more than that time I saw pictures of Val Kilmer and Paris Hilton making out, and very nearly burned my copy of Willow.

At any rate, watch the new Knight Rider tv movie on NBC, Sunday, February 17th at 9pm. Then cross your fingers that a regular series comes out of it, because if there's one thing we need after Battlestar Galactica and Bionic Woman reboots, it's a new Knight Rider -- but most especially, it's a new Seaquest DSV.

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Comments (4)

Jack:

I GLOVE mittens.

I GLOVE Special Sauce.

I GLOVE black men named Danny.

That's all I've got right now.

Laura:

We totally need a new Seaquest DSV series. It could be a sequel. They could have a grown up Jonathan Brandeis be the new captain. Oh, wait, that won't work.

They could have that talking dolphin be the new captain!

Eibmoz:

They could have the reanimated corpse of Johnathan Brandis and it would have more personality than these actors.

Where's our KR review? BONG!!!!!!!!