We like dinosaur violence.

Merlin: The Wicked Day
Oh, it's wicked, all right.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 2
Arthur sacrifices himself for Camelot... almost.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 1
Morgana unleashes a ghost army on Camelot.

The Answer to the JLA Movie's Woes

JUSTICE_LEAGUE_OF_AMERICA_12.jpg

In light of the recent casting rumors, we at Geektress have given some thought to how best to address Warner Brothers current production difficulties and the concerns of fans who are less than thrilled with various elements of the film. We believe we have come up with a solution that should please everyone.

ALL NUDE JUSTICE LEAGUE!

We are certain that you can see how this will render any concerns about the script meaningless. What fan is going to pay attention to plot or characterization with that much nakedness on the screen. As a matter of fact, instead of worrying about the possibility of having to wait out the WGA strike in order to make changes to the script, Warner Brothers might as well just throw that script out. Who needs it?

For those of you concerned about Warner Brothers' marginalization of women, surely this is the best way to convince the studio to add even more female characters to the cast. Just think, instead of just Wonder Woman, it could be Wonder Woman, Black Canary and Hawkgirl. That's three strong female characters in one film, all naked. They could distract the villains with their breasts.

Now, before you start to think we have turned the Justice League movie into some sort of chick flick, we haven't forgotten the guys. After all, you can't have the Justice League without Batman. And what better way to get Talia al Ghul to give up her wicked, wicked ways (and help many a confused fanboy through their own questions of sexual identity) than the sight of his manly form? ["The sight of Aquaman naked with fish scales in places you don't wanna know about? Or just the sight of Aquaman, period." --BK]

Actually, we are lying about the "all nude" part. Batman, of course, will leave his mask on (it's better that way), and Flash will have to wear a sock. ["Size of sock may vary." - BK] We may be Geektresses, but we understand that wind burn in certain places would really suck.

[Parenthetical asides brought to you by Brenda.]

Share |