Dancing with Geeks

Merlin: The Wicked Day
Oh, it's wicked, all right.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 2
Arthur sacrifices himself for Camelot... almost.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 1
Morgana unleashes a ghost army on Camelot.

BSG Episode Fifteen: Valley of Darkness

Previously: Adama gets shot, leaving a suddenly un-capable Tigh in charge to screw things up. Long story short, they have to network their computers to fix things, and some Centurions manage to climb aboard the Galactica. Back on Caprica, Starbuck and Helo go at it about Boomer #2 and her possible pregnancy. Also, down on Kobol, the downed Raptor crew are dealing with a lot of shit of their own -- some of them are badly injured or dead.

Dee and Billy meet up accidentally in the hallways of the Galactica, and it's a little awkward, as they apparently haven't talked in two weeks. Billy apologizes for not calling. Dee has really pretty eyes. Which is cool, because she shoots Billy down for being a douche about not calling.

Tigh is with Adama in sickbay when all the lights go off on the battlestar. Someone says it's "DMA interrupt." They break out some flashlights. Gaeta explains that his firewall may not have worked so well in the previous episode, because a Cylon computer virus is replicating inside their system and is turning off all the power. Everyone is just remembering that a Cylon raider crashed and realizing that the Cylons have boarded.

A bunch of chatty viper pilots are winding their way down the halls of Galactica when they turn the corner and find a Centurion. It pulls out some terminator-like claws and slashes one of the pilots across the chest. The rest of the pilots book, as we go to opening credits.

I never used to like the opening "theme song," but it's starting to grow on me. You'd expect -- or, at least, I expected -- some fast paced poundy-drum thing to pump you up, but it's not. It's a calm, slow piece, and in a way I'm starting to think that suits the show a little better, as it's very spiritual.

The pilots are still hauling ass back through the halls. Apollo gets cornered by one Cylon and lets off a few rounds from his sidearm, which do nothing. Some marines come up from behind and blow the Centurion's head off. Apparently "explosive rounds" are the only way to take the Centurions down, but the marines are all out, having just used the last one to save Apollo. Since the space phone lines are out of order, Apollo writes a note for Hot Dog to carry back to Tigh.

Gaeta calls the rest of the fleet over some sort of space-walkie-talkie, telling them to stay the hell away from the Galactica. Then the Cylons jam the walkie talkie signals. From inside the brig, they can hear the sound of gunfire outside. Roslin orders the guard to let her out, so they can get the hell out of there before they're shot like fish in a barrel. Apollo shows up just then with a bunch of marines. He tells Roslin to get to sickbay for safety, then he gives Billy a gun, which Billy takes tentatively.

Back on Cylon-Occupied Caprica, Helo and Starbuck are trying to figure out how to get the hell out of town. Starbuck remarks that there aren't a lot of decaying bodies laying around, which Helo explains was the Cylons picking up the dead and cremating them. (Nice to see they clean up their messes.) They have another fight about how stupid Helo is for trusting Boomer #2. Then Starbuck heads off for "something she has to pick up." Other than the hoodoo voodoo arrow?

Captain Kelly relays the news that the Centurion Cylons have split up in to two groups, and are heading fore and aft. Tigh knows exactly what they're about to do, so he deploys the marines to take down the Centurions before they vent all the Galactica's air out in to space and turn the guns on the rest of the civilian fleet.

Down on Kobol, Baltar is hallucinating that he's being rescued by Adama. A baby materializes in Baltar's arms. Adama asks to hold it, and says "This is the shape of things to come." Then he drowns it. This is really kind of horrifying. What happened to all the sexy daydreams, Gaius? Sheesh. When Baltar wakes up, he's with Number Six and a bunch of skulls, the leftover from "human sacrifices" made during the days of Gods-Humans interactions on Kobol. Six spins some talk about how humans are barbarous and horrible, and will definitely kill their baby if Baltar lets them. Baltar sums this up as: All religious texts are bullshit.

On the Galactica, Apollo's strike team heads for the small arms locker, and runs across some dead crew members. Even though the electronic locks and keypads don't work because the power is out, the lock is open. Yeoman Jammer is hiding inside. Kat realizes there are only six explosive rounds left. Apollo does some impressive math: six bullets and five of them, that means everyone gets one, and he gets the extra. Typical. Jammer does not want to be counted as a soldier here, he'd rather hide in the small arms locker. Apollo tells him to man up.

Cylon-Occupied Caprica: Starbuck breaks in to her own apartment. There are paintings and paint supplies all over the place. She's even put a mural up on the wall of what looks like a pinwheel. She puts a tape in her boom box, and piano music fills the room. As Helo finds the only unspoiled food left, he snarks that Starbuck couldn't possibly play the piano that well, and she claims it's her father on the recording, not her. She lights up a cigar, and muses that she doesn't miss any of her old crap here on Caprica, which is strange, because everyone back on Galactica is fighting to get back. She's just fighting to fight. They stretch out for a while. I love how she had to "get something" back at her apartment, and then realizes there's nothing there she even really wants.

On Galactica, Roslin is still trying to reach sickbay, and they unlock a hallway full of dead soldiers. Dee is hidden among them, clearly in some state of shock. Billy can't get to her by repeating "Dee," so Roslin suggests using her rank. When he tries that, she snaps out of it, but she has some sort of concussion and is slightly disoriented. The four of them decide to take the long way around to sickbay.

Just then, Gaeta is getting a note from some of the marines: even though they took down one of the enemy attack parties, the other Cylons are cutting through the hallway walls instead of walking down them. They're going to reach their destination even faster than anticipated. Things do not look good.

On Kobol, Cally and Tyrol are still trying to catch up with the rest of the crew. They stop to catch their breath and she cries and makes moony eyes at Tyrol, trying to get him to talk to her. They get moving and catch up to the rest of the group, and Tyrol issues the "FLASH!" challenge and response, which is such an awesome shout-out to Band of Brothers that I do some research, and find out what a shibboleth is, and how exactly it was used during World War II. Thanks, show! You are forcing me to learn things.

With the med kit now at hand, they realize that giving more painkillers to their dying crewmember won't do any good -- unless they decide to overdose him. Tyrol is pretty pissed off that they got another soldier killed for some medicine they're only going to use to kill another officer. Then he does the deed himself. Everyone cries.

On Galactica, near the main armory, Apollo is on the Space Phone while other marines look for more rounds. Apollo gives Tigh the situation report, which is basically bad news all the way. Over on "Deck 12" in the "enlisted head" -- which means: bathrooms for the "knuckle-draggers" and non-commissioned officers -- Roslin's escape party are still trying to get to sickbay. Dee notices Billy's new gun, and he decided the best course of action is to shove it down the front of his pants. Then she points out he should probably turn the safety on. Aww. Dee might want to get in Billy's pants later, and not have to deal with shrapnel. That's nice. Since the head is a dead end, Roslin and gang decide to head for "aft damage control" -- which is right where Tigh and Apollo are concluding that all the Cylons are going to be.

Apollo and his marines arrive at Aft Damage Control before either Roslin or the Cylons. All of them can hear the sound of approaching gunfire and heavy Centurion feet. Jammer is trying to buckle down behind some cover, but is pretty shaky. Apollo tells him: "Sometimes you gotta roll the hard six," and when Jammer asks what the frak that means, Apollo doesn't actually know. It's just one of your more popular Adama-isms that Lee thought he'd pass along. As they wait, he repeats "Headshot, reload. Headshot, reload."

There is some sort of strange blocking here -- apparently Roslin and gang are hiding behind a little wall at what appears to be a Y intersection of hallways. As a Centurion runs past Roslin, she freaks out, and then Billy accidentally lets off a round. The Cylons turn to fire on Roslin, and while they're not looking, Apollo's crew at the other end of the hallway open fire. A cgi-spectacular gun battle ensues. When humans come out victorious, Jammer becomes all "YEAH! GET SOME!". Roslin notices a few bullet holes in her suit jacket, but she's all right, and the guard who prayed with her earlier notes: "The Gods MUST be watching over you."

As the sound of Starbuck's dad's piano solo rises in the background, we fade to Starbuck and Helo still relaxing at her place on Caprica. In one of her jacket pockets, she finds the keys to her car -- a tricked out Colonial version of a Hummer. It's outfitted to look like a pickup. So, a Hummer with the corners cut off, basically. They take off in it.

Dee is in sickbay, and Billy comes to visit her. They hold hands and make up. "Making up" in Dualla's book is less about talking, more about smooching. Then she orders him to pull the curtain closed, for what I'm presuming is more hanky-panky.

Adama is still unconscious and hooked up to breathing machines and such. Roslin and Apollo are standing over him, and Roslin assures him that Adama will pull through. Tigh sends her back to the brig (or, she sort of asks him if that's where she should be, he agrees, so she sends herself there,) and then turns on Apollo, chastising him for siding with Roslin over his own father. Also, that whole thing with pulling a gun on Tigh really doesn't sit well with him, either. They have a moment where they each accuse the other of not being fit to wear the uniform, and how when Adama wakes up, he's going to be disappointed in both of them.

Cue piano music. Apollo kisses Adama goodbye (on the forehead) and heads back to the brig. Tigh has the last words: "Thank the Gods I didn't have kids." You and me both, buddy.

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