I think Sam's soul needs an It Gets Better campaign.

Merlin: The Wicked Day
Oh, it's wicked, all right.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 2
Arthur sacrifices himself for Camelot... almost.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 1
Morgana unleashes a ghost army on Camelot.

BSG Episode Seven: Six Degrees of Separation

Previously: Baltar's real life girlfriend, Number Six, dies during the holocaust, but appears as a hallucination (or, something) to Baltar. Also, it's helpful here to remember that Apollo shot down a civilian carrier that was possibly infiltrated by Cylons, and supposedly was carrying a man with "information" about Baltar that he was trying to relay to the President.

Dr. Baltar is examining some cells, and is getting pretty snippy with his imaginary girlfriend about how he doesn't "see God" in any of his many, many samples. Then he hallucinates some sex, because Sex=Theology in Baltar's brain. He soon bores himself out and tells Number Six to get lost with her "God" mumbo-jumbo. This is a mistake. (Never tell your imaginary friend she's full of shit. Good tip for all you sociopaths out there.)

A "real" Number Six shows up on the Galactica. There's a funny little scene where Baltar realizes that everyone else can see her, too, and it's not his imaginary Number Six. Anyway, the real Six claims to be the assistant of a Dr. Amorak, who was (if he ever existed) blown up on the Olympic Carrier during the events of the episode "33". New, "Real" Six accuses Baltar of being a Cylon conspirator, and has pictures to prove it.

The pictures are on a cd, only in Galactica world, every frakking thing has the corners cut off, so the cd is seriously octagonal in shape. SERIOUSLY. Adama, Tigh, Gaeta, Baltar, and "Real" Six watch some surveillance video of what appears to be Baltar planting an explosive device in the Colonial mainframe. Gaeta sets about trying to determine whether the video has been faked or not, and Baltar is stripped of his security privileges. P.S., Real Six is sporting some hipster glasses, which is actually very hot.

On the hanger deck, Tyrol is squishing around in the Cylon Raider, extremely annoyed with how gooey everything is. Still in the medical wing with a broken up knee, Starbuck is trying to walk on crutches. She doesn't want to get out of bed, she just wants more meds, which Doc Cottle refuses her.

Baltar begs Roslin to be let back aboard Space Force One, which she refuses. Then she collapses. Billy makes a system-wide call for help, which is a mistake. Because after commercial break, we (and Billy) are subjected to a very loud press conference, with all the reporters foaming at the mouth wanting to know what's wrong with the President. Cottle is talking to Roslin in her quarters and finds out she's been taking three times the recommended dosage of Chamalla extract. Roslin wants to get back on her feet, so Cottle gives her a shot in the ass (literally.)

Adama meets with Real Six to find out what her deal is. She puts some moves on him, what the frak. Are all Number Sixs programmed to be whores? Adama doesn't fall for it for a minute, and has Real Six put on surveillance.

Baltar corners Gaeta in the men's room to beg for his help. Baltar wants to help Gaeta prove the surveillance tape is faked. After Gaeta runs away (without washing his hands!) he confronts Real Six in one of the other bathroom stalls. It's a very silly scene. Most of Baltar's scenes come off goofy rather than menacing.

What is a creepy scene is this one: Boomer walks on to the hanger deck where Tyrol is still futzing around with the Cylon Raider. She caresses the ship and "supposes" that a Raider is like a pet, the dogs of the Cylon race, and must be treated with care and love. Just like a Jack Russell Terrier! Starbuck is still refusing to get up out of bed to help Tyrol try to find out how to run her stolen Raider. Tigh uses some sarcastic reverse psychology to prompt her out of sick bay.

Baltar goes to Adama and wants the Real Six tested to prove she's a Cylon. Adama says he can't allow Baltar back in his lab again. In Baltar's head, he's pleading with his imaginary Six to come back to him. Then Baltar sets a fire in his laboratory, distracting everyone so he can get to the surveillance video and try to delete it. It won't erase off the computer, so he goes Keith Moon on it and begins smashing the console with a chair and ripping out wires. Adama catches him and throws him in the brig.

Starbuck shows up on the hanger deck to help out with the Raider. Of course she's only in it for about five seconds before she can do what Tyrol has been trying to do for days: start it up and fly it around.

Roslin visits Baltar in the brig, and angrily confides that she does not trust him, and fully believes he really is a Cylon conspirator -- or at the very least had something to do with the initial Cylon attack on the Colonies. Baltar, realizing he's truly screwed here, prays to the Cylon God to help get him out of trouble. Imaginary Six shows back up to comfort him.

Someone has written "CYLON!" all over Boomer's locker. Knowing how she's a nutcase Cylon agent, she probably wrote it on there herself, and then forgot about it. Or, maybe someone else knows her locker combination. Whatevers.

Conveniently, Gaeta finally discovers that the video of Baltar is a fake. When the faked video is shown, Baltar is released and cleared of all charges. Further confusing the issue of whether Number Six is real, or just a part of Dr. Baltar's imagination -- the "real" Number Six totally vanishes from Galactica. Except she left behind her hipster glasses! Oh noes!

Meanwhile! Back on Cylon-Occupied Caprica: Helo and Boomer #2 are hiding in a forest. They make love while it rains continually. Apparently on Caprica having sex on a damp forest floor is romantic and does not at all chafe.

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