Inspired by badness.

Merlin: The Wicked Day
Oh, it's wicked, all right.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 2
Arthur sacrifices himself for Camelot... almost.
Merlin: The Darkest Hour, Part 1
Morgana unleashes a ghost army on Camelot.

Justice League: Secret Origins, Part 1

Mars. The Mariner Valley. Two astronauts are discussing the view, and then checking readings on these things they have stuck in the ground. They are looking for, and not finding, water. Then one of the astronauts, named Carter, sees something stuck in a rock and goes to get it out with a pick ax. He thinks it's an ice crystal. When he gets it out, the ground starts to rumble. Then it starts to break apart like it's an earthquake. They try to outrun the spreading cracks, but Carter falls into the ever widening chasm. The still nameless astronaut tries to reach him on their receiver things, but can't. When Carter finally reaches the bottom, he tries to contact the astronaut now named Ed, but is having similar communication difficulties. Carter looks around the underground cave he finds himself in and sees a lot of strange markings, obviously some kind of writing, on the walls. Then he gets his pick ax and tries to pry open what looks like a door with a big seal on it. The doors slide open and a bright light emanates from within. Carter screams.

Opening credits. I will always prefer the Justice League Unlimited opening credits. The theme music is a bit more rockin' and it's faster paced. These pictures are pretty though. They've got an Alex Ross vibe to them.

Back to the show. There's a fence with a sign that reads "Wayne Tech Metropolis Sub-Station." As we get a wider shot that reveals a large facility with a really big satellite dish, writing across the screen reads "Metropolis Two Years Later." A small shadowed figure, unmistakably Batman, runs across the roof of the facility and lifts a crate. It's late at night, but there are four people in lab coats in the large computer room below. The blond guy invites the others to a geeky astronomy party that weekend and leaves. The rest of them then stand up and start speaking in a weird, inhuman sounding language. Batman watches from the rafters. One of them rips open one of the large machines and another removes an oddly shaped red, black, and grey thing. It looks a bit like an amoeba, but more solid. They bring it out to the top of the satellite dish and it oozes into the machinery. Batman comes out, makes with the typical opening superhero comment, gets two of them wrapped in a bolas (Thanks, Bren), makes with more superheroy comments and engages in the episodes first fight scene with the female of the group. She's obviously stronger than a normal human would be. She throws him pretty far, but he's Batman and lands on his feet. The other two free themselves and the fight continues. He Batarangs the woman in the head, but it does nothing. Then one of the others charges him and he falls off the platform they are on. He uses his Bat-grappling hook to keep himself from going splat and get himself back on the platform.

Just as he lands back on the platform, Superman's boots float into frame and offer assistance. Batman doesn't need his help though, because he is Batman. Superman observes that their opponents don't look so tough. Batman charges and the human/aliens run away. Superman makes to follow, but he is hit with a loud noise and flashy imagery that make him grab his head and fall splat onto the platform. The older, balder alien dude uses a device, which looks like it matches the amoeba thing, to blow up the satellite dish. Batman rescues Superman. They land on the grass and watch the complex burn. They also watch as the people they were fighting lie in a mangled heap, then get up, straighten themselves out (complete with bone cracking sound effects), and walk away. The bald guy turns back and makes a finger gun at Batman. He's an ass.

Superman gets up and asks what happened. Batman explains that over the past few months he has detected several security breaches in the global deep space monitoring network. Maybe Gotham would have been crime free by now if he had spent a little more time watching the streets and a little less time worrying about an alien threat. Paranoid freak. Superman gives Batman a signal watch and flies off. Batman walks off, feeling rejected. A watch is a small consolation prize when you are hoping for some quality time with the Man of Steel. Jimmy is going to be so jealous though.

A No Nukes rally outside of the UN, which I guess is in Metropolis here. Inside they argue about whether or not to get rid of all the weapons of mass destruction. Remember that astronaut, Carter? He's a senator now, and he's all about getting rid of the nukes. The plan is to have Superman keep the peace for the entire world. Big Blue apparently thinks this is a good idea. Then there is a news report, by Snapper Carr, about Superman dismantling all the missiles. The Flash is interviewed about his opinion of the plan. Let's just say that this one time, he's far more sensible than Superman. Clark's pretty pleased with himself though as he turns off his television, finishes his milk and gets in bed. Too bad he's hit with another one of those loud noise, flashy image headaches.

Star Labs. Batman is trespassing. He finds the device that the alien people used to blow up the Wayne Tech facility. Then he sees two of the alien people. He enters another room and finds three big red pods, which contain the people the aliens must have copied, attached to the wall. He cuts the one with the bald man open. Then he gets attacked by a dog. It's too bad it's not a shark. He'd have a spray for that. He fights the dog and it turns into a less dog-like, four legged, white creature with red eyes.

Clark is in his bathroom washing his face. He hears something suspicious, though it just sounds like and alarm clock. Next thing you know, Superman is flying through Metropolis and arrives at Star Labs. Batman has activated the signal watch. He got his ass kicked by the alien dog and there's a book case on top of him. Later, he will threaten to shove the Kryptonite he keeps in the lead lined poach on his utility belt up Clark's ass if he ever tells anyone. Superman is very concerned about his unconscious friend though. As he lifts him up to carry him out, a screeching meteor plummets to the earth and crashes in the city. Superman leaves Batman with an ambulance he sees on the ground, and Batman wakes up just as the medic is about to remove his mask. Are we certain he doesn't have some sort of Bat-sense?

As police and reporters and such rush to the scene, something begins to burst free from the meteor. Superman swoops in to save a few people. The thing looks a little like the alien things that came out of the ground in the Speilberg/Cruise version of War of the Worlds. There's no Scientology symbolism here as far as I can tell though. The alien thing is large and white, with red spots and three legs. It shoots a laser beam and destroys a cop car, because it's not an alien invasion if a giant alien thing doesn't shoot a laser beam and destroy a cop car. Superman charges at it, but it shoots a laser beam at him, which throws him a few blocks. Cops shoot at it to no avail and it continues to destroy stuff, now with added stomping. We return to Batman, lying on a gurney. He shoots his grappling hook up and is taken away by his Batwing. The paramedic is all "Where did he go?"

The Batwing and a revived Superman attack the alien thing. Superman manages to knock it into a bridge, but when he tries to rip it apart, it shoots him with a laser beam. He crashes into a building and a ton of rubble falls on top of him when he lands. Batman flies the Batwing into the alien thing, but it doesn't do much good. I bet they wish they had some nukes about now. Superman frees himself from the rubble just in time to see a bunch more alien things break out of meteors. He gets another one of those headaches. Then he just flies off and Batman wonders where he's going.

Fighter jets and tanks arrive to start attacking the alien things, but they're no help either. Snapper Carr does a report on how Superman has gone AWOL and a bunch of attacks like this are happening all over the world.

Two women are on horse back on a pretty, peaceful beach, looking at the skies. Let's call the brunette Diana and the blond Hippolita, just for lack of actual given names. Diana expresses her worry about mankind to her mother but her mother's all "That's their problem. The Gods are protecting us." Her daughter is conflicted.

Back to Batman, who flies to Star Labs again. Maybe. I can't tell. The place is busted up though and there are a ton more of those pods around. He finds Superman beating up one of those huge metal sliding doors they have in military labs in movies. He's able to remove it and after busting through another door, they find a naked, green humanoid restrained there. Fortunately, since this is a family show, he either has differently placed genitalia or none at all. Superman declares him to be "Mankind's only hope." He frees the alien and explains that he had been trying to reach out to him telepathically and when the message finally broke through, he rushed there to rescue him. Batman winces at the alien's appearance. He's such a speciesist. He's not surprised the government didn't trust him when he came to warn about the other aliens. The pointy headed green guy senses that Batman doesn't trust him and changes his appearance. He's all Martian Manhuntered up now, costume and everything, and he introduces himself as J'onn J'onzz. They came up with some real imaginative names back in the day. Batman won't shake his hand and Superman, trying to lessen the awkward factor, explains that Batman doesn't trust anyone. J'onn thinks that is wise.

As they leave, a bunch of soldiers stop them for trespassing. They want to keep "that freak" there. Superman offers to vouch for J'onn as necessary to saving the world, but the soldiers turn into white, globby looking aliens. This is good because it means they can fight them, but that fight has to wait for the next episode.

Share |